Well worth the headache
by Vilian
Summary: Sometimes headache is a small price to pay for a second chance in life.


One last look at the landing pad and Jyn Erso is ready to go. Yet another stolen ship - not the first, probably not the last one; yet another runaway, not the first and most probably not the last one either. She has to go now though, her role in Rebellion fulfilled: the plans for Death Star stolen, the battle station itself destroyed. It's time to leave the Yavin base behind, time to step away from the war once and for all. The problem is, there's still war burning inside her. Not the literal war against the Empire - she's trying to convince herself that this one for her is over - but the war between her mind and her heart. Staying would mean that her heart wins after all. But her stupid dreams of a better life, a real life beside someone who cares, can't change her path. Especially when she's already pretty sure this certain someone doesn't care. Jyn could love him, maybe even she already does love Cassian, but she's not going to try and destroy the walls that keep his heart guarded, just to make sure there's no place for her there. There was a moment she thought he let her inside, back there on the Scarif beach, but then the chaos came - the rescue, the medbay, the Death Star destruction - and it have never repeated again. If so, then be it, and the further she is from people and places reminding her of that time, the better.

 _Time to go. No more sentiments. Sentiments kill._

Still deep in her thoughts, Jyn doesn't notice looming shadow of a tall droid right beside her. Then there's lighting fast movement directed at her - and then there's darkness.

.

.

.

 _Ouch. That's a one kriffingly enormous headache._

Jyn wakes to a pounding headache, like if a whole herd of banthas just run over her head. She's confused, and her confusion rises sky-high when she opens her eyes. First thing she notices is a ceiling she now stares at, a regular stone ceiling of Yavin base quarters. Wasn't she supposed to be on a ship, far away from Yavin?

The second thing she notices through the splitting headache is a delicate touch, and the realization sends her pulse racing. There are coarse fingers stroking her forehead, gently going over it back and forth, miraculously easing her pain. It takes some seconds for Jyn to consciously register who might that be, but she'd recognize the familiar scent anywhere. She's pillowing her head on Cassian's lap, and he's caressing her, whether she wants it or not - and by Force, she does want it; but then he suddenly stops. Jyn slightly twists her head to look at him, and it sends fresh waves of suffering through her head, yet she stares intently right in the man's eye, waiting for some kind of explanation.

"I'm so very sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I did ask Kay to bring you here, but not to knock you unconscious, just talk you into coming. I'm sorry"

 _Seriously? Like if he didn't know Kay takes some things very literally. Ouch._

The look on Jyn's face has to be a murderous one, because Cassian averts his gaze, his face full of shame. It's only then when she notices his eyes are red-rimmed and glossy, and it makes her surprised; the anger evaporates in an instant. Her fury is replaced by curiosity and suspicion.

 _What is this all about?_

"Kay has told me when you were in the middle of stealing one of shuttles. I'm guessing you wanted to get out of here unnoticed. It's my fault, I know"

Before Jyn wraps her brain around the last sentence, Cassian mindlessly goes back to the soothing caress she already likes so much, and continues talking - still not looking at her though. And yet, her heart already almost jumps out of her chest.

"It might look to you I'm pushing you away, after all we've been through together. But I just don't want to make you suffer, I don't know how to do that... how to be close to someone. I felt for a moment that there's a chance I may have a life, real life with someone... with you. And then got scared. I can lie, but telling truth is such a difficult thing and I was afraid I may chase you away completely"

 _You idiot. You almost did._

Jyn's at loss. She doesn't really know how to do such things either. She's scared too. But she knows one thing, they both do feel something towards each other. No need to destroy any walls when they can be simply lowered to let the other one in, this time for longer than a moment. She just needs to let Cassian know how her own truth looks like.

Slowly, unsteadily, Jyn gets a hold of Cassian's palm that still runs over her forehead. Startled man looks at her and obviously notices something in her face, a change of some sort, because his expression is suddenly full of - hope? - instead of shame.

"Cassian? Let's try that real life thing, together. Just no more killer droids when you want to tell me something, alright?"

The smile Jyn sees on his face is bright as a sunlight, brighter than the first smile he ever shared with her, back on the ship to Scarif. She wants to see such smile of his as often as possible and enjoy its warmth, as part of their life. Scarif is past them, time to go forward.

 _Some things are well worth even the most horrid of headaches._

* * *

 _ **A/N:** There, I wrote a story for Valentine's Day. I've never celebrated it, even when in relationship; now that I'm single I wouldn't touch celebrating Feb14th with a 10-ft pole. But, it was such a good excuse to contribute a RebelCaptain story to this amazing community I'm a part of for almost a year now, so...  
Hope you find this itsy-bitsy-super-tiny thing a good read - I actually had a good laugh while writing it, this has to count for _something _in case of a person who mostly writes and reads angst :)  
(It's already after midnight, so I can always say it's actually my contribution to International Fanworks Day, which is on Feb15th. At least I can pick my poison, and so can you :P )_


End file.
